On Sunday, my brother-in-law was married, signaling the close of an eventful weekend and weeklong visit from my husband’s family. In order to highlight some of the finer points of this visit, I feel the reader should know some of details that went into the preparation of our home for the arrival of five visitors: I shampooed the carpet, bought new bedding for the guest room, along with new towels and rugs for the guest bathroom, conducted a massive de-cluttering of all rooms, and scoured every forgotten surface of our small home. In the process I also acquired several air deodorizers, including one automatic air smelly sprayer. Plus, under the misinterpreted guidance of my therapist, who told me not to worry about the small things and instead focus on a few small personal touches like flowers, I became obsessed with buying flowers for each room housing a guest (including the bathroom).
Upon arriving the first thing my mother in law wanted to do (after stocking the fridge to max capacity) was clean the bathrooms. Before anyone could object, she was elbow deep in the toilet using a military-grade cleaner she had stolen from work. I’ll admit I was slightly taken aback, until I realized that her magic pumice cleaner was erasing decade-old hard water stains within seconds. At that point, I decided to just let Mama Gomez be. Under her reign: home décor improved 100%, breakfast became a 5 course event, and the backyard became a functional living space. To say my mother-in-law is strong-willed is an understatement. The woman is a force of nature.
I’m not going to lie though, there were some weird moments:
- As previously mentioned, she popped a zit on my face.
- She “accidently” elbowed me during the chicken dance.
- I found a wine bottle under all the veggies in the crisper.
- She stepped on my stomach to test if it was “hard.”
- While discussing undergarments with her sisters, she flashed her thong at the entire room.
This explains why Nick doesn’t bat an eyelash when I wake up and say things like, “I dreamt I was Liz Lemon in Colonial Williamsburg.” He’s used to zany women in his life.