Texts from the Border

I’m finally back in Athens after a rather tumultuous week visiting family in El Paso, TX. I went home to meet my new nephew, and was granted a twofer when my best friend Megan also delivered her baby.  Hers was a home birth (my brain will not allow me to venture further beyond that detail).  But, congrats to baby Noah and Micah, each, for being born. Huzzah!

In other news:  I was stung by a honey bee whilst feeding my father’s pet Macaw, which made the rest of my stay in El Paso rather itchy.

“Hey, when you’re all done being stung, can I bite you? I mean, I was planning on doing it anyway, so…”

Anyway, to color in some of the details of the trip, here are some of the most absurd text messages that were exchanged between me and Nick (mostly out of context, of course):

  • Cass: I sent you a photo of my fat finger.
  • Nick: Bending is overrated.
  •     C: Alone with baby and need to poopy! {Insert dramatic squirrel}

                 N: Looks like baby is going to witness someone poop.

                 C:  No, mom just showed up. Thank the squirrel gods!

  • Cass:  I just walked into a place with Purell and pumped like three times. I missed it so much! *weeps*
  • Cass:  My mom says excitedly to baby, “I’m going to buy you a bicycle so you can learn about Spiderman!” –Wtf?
  • Nick: Have you put his feet in your mouth yet?
  • Cass: Dreamt that I was communicating with a woman in Sweden through a glass of wine.
  •       C: Finally got the baby settled…then dad rushes in to take shower. NOOO. Cass will never poopy.

                   N: I would have responded to that, but I was pooping.

  • Regarding Tom Green – Cass: Maybe he’s podcasting from the toilet these day.

—–  And that pretty much sums up my trip. With the exception of the unbearably long flight next to a woman whose perfume can only be described as reminiscent of cherry cough syrup. “Noxious,” would work too.  Seriously, it was like Avon and Icy Hot had a baby.


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