I doubt it, muchly.

Given that a huge chunk of my formative years were spent trying to emulate Gwen Stefani, I feel it would be remiss not to acknowledge the new No Doubt single. That said, I have to agree with YouTube commenters, where the consensus seems to be, “Daaamn she hasn’t aged,” and “Daaamn that song is awful.”

What is really nagging at my mind when I watch that video, however, is the smoothness of Gwen Stefani’s armpits (jump to the 2:30 mark, if you’re impatient or allergic to bad music). Not that I expect stubble from someone with that kind of money, but gee-whiz they look almost supernatural! Seeing them gives me the same phantom tactile urge  I experience when seeing dolphins- you know, the sense that you know exactly what a dolphin would feel like, despite never having touched one. –No? Am I the only one? — Well, excuse me! Some of us never went to Sea World and had to use our imaginations instead, ok? Geez.

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