Tiny Tina

I was going to write about something in particular, but when I looked at the scrap of paper I had written down my idea on, all I had written was, “Blog.” Yes. Very helpful, past-me.
Anyhow…
Earlier today, on facebook, I posted a gif from Community, reminding people to “Tina Turner” their clocks back:
The Dean Turners back time .
This, of course, reminded me of the phase I went through in third grade when I wanted to be Tina Turner… or just her legs (it was a very confusing time).

How much of my 8-year-old life was spent staring at those gams?

My friend Eddie also wanted to be Tina Turner. Being a black male, we thought he had the advantage. So whenever we played Tina Turner and the Ikettes, Eddie was Tina and the girls were lowly backup singers. We would spend recess putting together routines to perform for our teacher, Mrs. Mercado – who, by the way, was  completely unappreciative of our musical styling.
What I recall most about Eddie was his fantastic way of somehow making his soffe-shorts shorter to accentuate his legs. Because, Tina is all leg all the time!

Yes. These can get shorter.

After we spent a whole week on the dusty playground perfecting “Proud Mary,” including the raspy voice intro, we performed our choreographed number in front of the class. It was awesome, or would have been, if I hadn’t  ruined it all by trying to turn Eddie’s solo into a duet. In my defense, it was Tina Tragic Fucking Turner and those legs!! I just couldn’t resist.
And thus, my hopes of becoming a backup singer were dashed. Luckily, I moved later that year so the young Ikettes had a chance to flourish in my absence.

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