I checked the tracking on a recent online purchase and noticed something a bit odd.
Apparently, my order spent two days in 2011. The weird part is UPS used time travel to go to Maine. Why Maine?! Was it to skew the results of the Lake Auburn Road Race of June 4, 2011? Was it worth it for the $50 certificate and the commemorative polka dot t-shirt given to the winner of said race? Actually, that sounds like a suspiciously crummy prize for a twelve mile bike race. Maybe UPS sent a time traveler to steal the original cool prize, and replace it with the shitty one…hence, the arrival on the third to meddle with paperwork and change promotions (these time travelers are the thorough type). Mystery solved!
This is the type of stuff I research when I have three projects due next week. Procrastination is an art.